Extract: Skippy Dies by Paul Murray
Friday 6 August 2010
In winter months, from his seat in the middle desk of the middle row, Howard used to look out the window of the History Room and watch the whole school go up in flames. The rugby pitches, the basketball court, the car park and the trees beyond – for one beautiful instant everything would be engulfed; and though the spell was quickly broken – the light deepening and reddening and flattening out, leaving the school and its environs intact – you would know at least that the day was almost over.
Today he stands at the head of the class: the wrong angle and the wrong time of year to view the sunset. He knows, however, that fifteen minutes remain on the clock, and so pinching his nose, sighing imperceptibly, he tries again. 'Come on, now. The main protagonists. Just the main ones. Anybody?'
The torpid silence remains undisturbed. The radiators are blazing, though it is not particularly cold outside: the heating system is elderly and erratic, like most things at this end of the school, and over the course of the day the heat builds to a swampy, malarial fug. Howard complains, of course, like the other teachers, but he is secretly not ungrateful; combined with the powerful soporific effects of history itself, it means the disorder levels of his later classes rarely extend beyond a low drone of chatter and the occasional paper aeroplane.
'Anyone?' he repeats, looking over the class, deliberately ignoring Ruprecht Van Doren's upstretched hand, beneath which the rest of Ruprecht strains breathlessly. The rest of the boys blink back at Howard as if to reproach him for disturbing their peace. In Howard's old seat, Daniel 'Skippy' Juster stares catatonically into space, for all the world as if he's been drugged; in the back-row suntrap, Henry Lafayette has made a little nest of his arms in which to lay his head. Even the clock sounds like it's half asleep.
'We've been talking about this for the last two days. Are you telling me no one can name a single one of the countries involved? Come on, you're not getting out of here till you've shown me that you know this.'
'Uruguay?' Bob Shambles incants vaguely, as if summoning the answer from magical vapours.
'No,' Howard says, glancing down at the book spread open on his lectern just to make sure. 'Known at the time as "the war to end all wars",' the caption reads, below a picture of a vast, waterlogged moonscape from which all signs of life, natural or manmade, have been comprehensively removed.
'The Jews?' Ultan O'Dowd says.
'The Jews are not a country. Mario?'
'What?' Mario Bianchi's head snaps up from whatever he is attending to, probably his phone, under the desk. 'Oh, it was . . . it was – ow, stop – sir, Dennis is feeling my leg! Stop feeling me, feeler!'
'Stop feeling his leg, Dennis.'
'I wasn't, sir!' Dennis Hoey, all wounded innocence.
On the blackboard, 'MAIN' – Militarism, Alliances, Industrialization, Nationalism – copied out of the textbook at the start of class, is slowly bleached out by the lowering sun. 'Yes, Mario?'
'Uh . . .' Mario prevaricates. 'Well, Italy . . .'
'Italy was in charge of the catering,' Niall Henaghan suggests.
'Hey,' Mario warns.
'Sir, Mario calls his wang Il Duce,' says Dennis.
'Sir!'
'Dennis.'
'But he does – you do, I've heard you. "Time to rise, Duce," you say. "Your people await you, Duce."'
'At least I have a wang, and am not a boy with . . . Instead of a wang, he has just a blank piece of . . .'
'I feel we're straying off the point here,' Howard intervenes.
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