Illustration: Lo Cole for the Guardian

My life in sex: ‘While my husband was away on a business trip, I discovered casual sex’

The 54-year-old unfaithful wife

O

n the outside, I am a happily married, respectable, middle-aged woman. My husband is great – generous, good company, a wonderful father and grandfather. We have an enjoyable, comfortable life. He’s 12 years older than me, but that was never a problem, and although sex was routine, I was faithful for almost 30 years.

Then, three years ago, something changed. After a couple of operations, he fell into a long bout of severe depression, which resulted in a complete absence of physical affection. I became frustrated and desperate, and started fantasising about sex with other men. My husband travels a lot, and while he was away on a long business trip abroad, I discovered casual sex.

It was a revelation. I was amazed how easy it is for a woman to find lovers, and how many do. On the website I used, women outnumbered men hugely. While many of the men who look for sex in this way seem vulgar and semi-literate, there are a small minority who are lovely.

I’ve met 10 in the last couple of years, and now see three of them on a fairly regular basis: one is a doctor, one a company director and the other a TV journalist.

I have amazing, adventurous sex with each of them, and they have also become friends. We all have a lot to lose, so are respectful and very discreet. My job means I travel and don’t work set hours, so this secret isn’t difficult to hide.

It’s all about mutual satisfaction and fun. I’m enjoying the kind of sex I always dreamed of. I just hope that no one ever finds out.

THE GUARDIAN