|Illustration: Lo Cole for the Guardian|
My life in sex: being the other womanWhile I did not relish embarking on an affair, there was something about him and selfishly I wanted more
Friday 18 May 2018
’d been separated from my husband for six months and felt lonely. The separation had been painful and not my decision, so in an attempt to widen my social life, I searched for someone with common interests on an expatriate social network site.
We chatted on email and WhatsApp, before arranging to meet for a coffee a few days later. There was a mutual attraction. I liked his intellect and the way he explored my thoughts and opinions. He was easy to talk to and over time we discussed our sexual preferences: what we have tried, what we would like to. He told me he was married and, while I did not relish embarking on an affair, there was something about him; selfishly, I wanted more. I’ve always enjoyed the pleasures of sex, but have never explored my boundaries.
Embarking on an affair where there are no boundaries requires trust and discretion. We discuss in detail what we would like to try, and then comes the wait until we can be together to do it, which perhaps is part of the excitement. Whether I am being pleasured by him or self-pleasuring (another part of my life I wouldn’t have tried if I was married), making love has a new meaning. It’s not so much the sexual act, but the fascination of the physical response to a particular stimulus and the psychological impact that has.
For now, it’s one big adventure. I am the other woman and that does not sit comfortably with me. I am having an affair with a considerate lover who has taken me on a journey of discovery and pleasure. We’re far from finished.